Sunday, April 10, 2011


Hi.  My name is Shannon.  I'm 42 years old, almost 43.  Thank you for taking the time to follow my journey as I learn about HCG, mess up, struggle, succeed, fight, kick and scream and dance for joy.  A little background:  I have been overweight my whole life.  I was a chunky kid, a pudgy teenager, a fat young adult and an obese grown woman.  I have struggled with my weight, my identity and my place in this world.  I have spent the better part of my life disliking myself, feeling worthless and terribly insecure.  This last year I gave myself the best gift that I could give myself.  The gift of therapy.  Was it easy?  Heck no!!  Did I have to face some really tough stuff?  Oh, you bet!!  Was it worth it?  I'd do it again and again.  I wish I'd done it in my 20s.  But better late than never, right?  ....The result?  Well, after the better part of a year seeing a therapist weekly, I am now a strong, confident woman.  I feel that I deserve to take up space on the real estate under my feet.  I feel grounded.  I know the woman I am.  I like the woman I am.  I know what makes me happy and I live in that space more now than ever!!  And even at 276.8 pounds, I finally feel attractive and even sexy!!  Yep, it's true.  And I've noticed a change in how other people perceive me as well with the change in my attitude about myself.

That being said, this challenge is less about wanting to lose weight for vanity reasons and more for health reasons.  I am a type 2 diabetic and I have hypertension.  My goal is to get off of those medications and restore my health.  During therapy and learning about myself, I gained about 40 pounds.  I think I used my standby "feel good" remedy of food to soothe myself as I weeded through the difficult feelings and memories. I'm okay with that.  But now my back hurts all the time. Seriously, all the time!!  My clothes are all too small.  I have two pairs of jeans and two pairs of athletic pants that fit.  My shirts are all too small, but I camouflage that with jackets and sweaters to cover the bumps and rolls.  Summer is coming and I know for a fact that I will not fit into my summer clothes and I will not be able to hide under layers on those 100 degree days. 

So here I am, exposing it all.  I will be honest with my experience, good or bad.  I hope to learn even more about me in the process.  I also hope to recover my health and begin to regain a more physical life. I loved to hike, camp, walk, etc.  I want that back.  I hope to also be an inspiration to other people.  I have 5 co-workers and two friends beginning this journey also, all with different goals, so I have much support and for that I am grateful. 

Tomorrow I will post my stats and my "before" pictures.  Ooh, that won't be easy, but here we go....

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